Why Do You Wear Makeup?
Been thinking about this one a little bit lately. There's been some interesting discussion over on the Aromaleigh Forums dealing with explaining to a husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/mother just WHY a girl might like painting her lips and lids. So often significant others feel that you are simply, perfectly gorgeous without a speck of makeup on. And they are in fact RIGHT! However, knowledge of your own physical perfect doesn't really quash the fears that maybe your brows could be stronger or more finely arched, or lips could be fuller, cheeks hollower, eyes sparklier, whatever.
What I tell women in my store, when they are perusing the lotions and potions and pearly powders on my counters, is this: A girl should only do that which pleases her heart and her eye. NEVER wear makeup because you feel you "need it," or worse yet, because "everyone else expects you too."
OK - so now what. Well, I have a partial list of reasons for using cosmetics, and I'd love to see it fleshed out. So interesting, this little bit of superficiality which can, in fact, amplify the view of your SELF to the entire world, if you engage in the polishing and primping under full consciousness.
Here's the list so far:
1. I wear makeup because I feel better about myself when I do. Now this has nothing to do with my FLAWS, real or imagined. Truly, I pencil my brows because I find that my eyes have more prominence when I do so. Same with mascara. Without those bits of artifice I feel that my eyes become no more important that my cheek, or nose, or earlobe. And I'd really much rather have people pay attention to my eyes than my earlobe. More information comes from those eyes!
2. I wear makeup because it can be a delightful bit of creativity. The colors alone make me happy. They don't even have to be colors that "look good" on me to please me. And the application doesn't even have to make me look "better." Sometimes just looking different is well enough.
3. I wear makeup because I like being able to mold the responses of others based on what I choose to project. Do I want to feel fresh, youthful, fun and have people respond to me in that way? Then it's light on the eyes, fresh and clear or bright on the lips, rosy cheeks, softer brows. On the other end of the spectrum, am I tired of being treated like a second class citizen? Do I want to perhaps send the message that people best not cross me? Then I'll darken those brows even more, strengthen the arch, line those eyes, maybe shroud them in a dark shadow AND work that dark Gothic Chic lip. Channel my inner Natasha. Yeah, you BETTER take a step backwards, darling. I just might bite!
4. I wear makeup because I want to stand out from the crowd. If everyone else at an event is likely to be doing minimal or fresh, then I might choose to pack it on, wear the falsies, sparkle plenty, just to state loud and clear that I am different from all the rest.
5. I wear makeup because I want to fit in. Sometimes, you really do just want to go with the flow, match others around you. If you need to gain trust, or have strangers instantly feel comfortable, you mirror their actions and expressions and voice inflections. Not mimic, just mirror. Same thing with appearance. Working a business suit crowd? You'll more effectively deliver your intended message if your appearance doesn't pose a distraction. So look like those you'll be circulating among! Wear a suit, or reasonable facsimile thereof. Style your hair to a similar level of doneness. Wear a similar style of makeup, usually more classic, traditional or understated, with maybe just a "power lip."
Now as an aside, I think that many women start wearing makeup because they want to fit in. Think about middle school or high school, those tender years when you are simultaneously discovering a whole LOT about yourself, who you are, what your beliefs and values are, what you want to BE when you grow up AND trying desperately to fit in with your chosen social group. Notice that is is rarely, if ever, phrased as what you want to DO when you grow up. Always BE. No wonder high school and college is fraught with such intense anxiety! Anyway, cosmetics can be used to send a visual signal regarding what tribe you belong to. Kohl rimmed eyes and frosty lip gloss, or no makeup, or a punk take on it all become gravely important when finding your group. Imagine trying to join the Jocks if you are the figurative 98 Pound Weakling. Or imagine trying to break into the Popular Kids circle without the "right" brand of jeans. Or imagine trying to hang with the Punks (or pseudopunks, or Emos or Rockers or whomever) without the right amount of black eye liner/black clothing/black hair/black lipstick etc. Could a Prep meld seamlessly with the Smokers? probably not so easily. So if your kid is sporting a look that you don't particularly like, take a moment to figure out which tribe they are a part of. And remember that simply not liking their style isn't always enough of a reason to forbid it. Look at big picture stuff - how is your kid's behavior, their grades, are the kids they hang with REALLY up to no good, or do they just LOOK like they might be? Try to dig beneath the surface before getting worked up over eyeliner or torn jeans or something.
OK - now where were we? Right - reasons to wear makeup. So many possibilities, all of which are valid AS LONG as you are consciously choosing. Decide what message you want to send, and then send it. Truly, the only reason to change what you are doing is if you are not getting the reactions and responses you desire and deserve. Do folks look past you as though you are invisible, or talk over you at meetings? Might be time to up the image ante - sometimes you actually DO have to look as though you have something of value to say before people will believe you have something of value to say. If you want folks to leave you alone, the best and clearest communication of that will be an appearance that doesn't invite people in. Maybe something dark and hard edged, or something just a little on the edge of "crazy bag lady" will do. Sad? Maybe. True? Undoubtedly.
Understanding that cosmetics are tools of communication really takes makeup out of the realm of the superficial and puts it's power right into your own hands. YOU are the "master of your FACE, the captain of your soul," to botch a perfect gloriously true quote from Henley.
What I tell women in my store, when they are perusing the lotions and potions and pearly powders on my counters, is this: A girl should only do that which pleases her heart and her eye. NEVER wear makeup because you feel you "need it," or worse yet, because "everyone else expects you too."
OK - so now what. Well, I have a partial list of reasons for using cosmetics, and I'd love to see it fleshed out. So interesting, this little bit of superficiality which can, in fact, amplify the view of your SELF to the entire world, if you engage in the polishing and primping under full consciousness.
Here's the list so far:
1. I wear makeup because I feel better about myself when I do. Now this has nothing to do with my FLAWS, real or imagined. Truly, I pencil my brows because I find that my eyes have more prominence when I do so. Same with mascara. Without those bits of artifice I feel that my eyes become no more important that my cheek, or nose, or earlobe. And I'd really much rather have people pay attention to my eyes than my earlobe. More information comes from those eyes!
2. I wear makeup because it can be a delightful bit of creativity. The colors alone make me happy. They don't even have to be colors that "look good" on me to please me. And the application doesn't even have to make me look "better." Sometimes just looking different is well enough.
3. I wear makeup because I like being able to mold the responses of others based on what I choose to project. Do I want to feel fresh, youthful, fun and have people respond to me in that way? Then it's light on the eyes, fresh and clear or bright on the lips, rosy cheeks, softer brows. On the other end of the spectrum, am I tired of being treated like a second class citizen? Do I want to perhaps send the message that people best not cross me? Then I'll darken those brows even more, strengthen the arch, line those eyes, maybe shroud them in a dark shadow AND work that dark Gothic Chic lip. Channel my inner Natasha. Yeah, you BETTER take a step backwards, darling. I just might bite!
4. I wear makeup because I want to stand out from the crowd. If everyone else at an event is likely to be doing minimal or fresh, then I might choose to pack it on, wear the falsies, sparkle plenty, just to state loud and clear that I am different from all the rest.
5. I wear makeup because I want to fit in. Sometimes, you really do just want to go with the flow, match others around you. If you need to gain trust, or have strangers instantly feel comfortable, you mirror their actions and expressions and voice inflections. Not mimic, just mirror. Same thing with appearance. Working a business suit crowd? You'll more effectively deliver your intended message if your appearance doesn't pose a distraction. So look like those you'll be circulating among! Wear a suit, or reasonable facsimile thereof. Style your hair to a similar level of doneness. Wear a similar style of makeup, usually more classic, traditional or understated, with maybe just a "power lip."
Now as an aside, I think that many women start wearing makeup because they want to fit in. Think about middle school or high school, those tender years when you are simultaneously discovering a whole LOT about yourself, who you are, what your beliefs and values are, what you want to BE when you grow up AND trying desperately to fit in with your chosen social group. Notice that is is rarely, if ever, phrased as what you want to DO when you grow up. Always BE. No wonder high school and college is fraught with such intense anxiety! Anyway, cosmetics can be used to send a visual signal regarding what tribe you belong to. Kohl rimmed eyes and frosty lip gloss, or no makeup, or a punk take on it all become gravely important when finding your group. Imagine trying to join the Jocks if you are the figurative 98 Pound Weakling. Or imagine trying to break into the Popular Kids circle without the "right" brand of jeans. Or imagine trying to hang with the Punks (or pseudopunks, or Emos or Rockers or whomever) without the right amount of black eye liner/black clothing/black hair/black lipstick etc. Could a Prep meld seamlessly with the Smokers? probably not so easily. So if your kid is sporting a look that you don't particularly like, take a moment to figure out which tribe they are a part of. And remember that simply not liking their style isn't always enough of a reason to forbid it. Look at big picture stuff - how is your kid's behavior, their grades, are the kids they hang with REALLY up to no good, or do they just LOOK like they might be? Try to dig beneath the surface before getting worked up over eyeliner or torn jeans or something.
OK - now where were we? Right - reasons to wear makeup. So many possibilities, all of which are valid AS LONG as you are consciously choosing. Decide what message you want to send, and then send it. Truly, the only reason to change what you are doing is if you are not getting the reactions and responses you desire and deserve. Do folks look past you as though you are invisible, or talk over you at meetings? Might be time to up the image ante - sometimes you actually DO have to look as though you have something of value to say before people will believe you have something of value to say. If you want folks to leave you alone, the best and clearest communication of that will be an appearance that doesn't invite people in. Maybe something dark and hard edged, or something just a little on the edge of "crazy bag lady" will do. Sad? Maybe. True? Undoubtedly.
Understanding that cosmetics are tools of communication really takes makeup out of the realm of the superficial and puts it's power right into your own hands. YOU are the "master of your FACE, the captain of your soul," to botch a perfect gloriously true quote from Henley.
posted by Your Style Muse at 3:45 PM
1 Comments:
Good points!
I wear makeup because it has always helped my skin. Without, I'm usually too dry. With it, I'm just right.
I look better with it, regardless of what my kids say.
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